Subject: Grief chapter 1 It had been three week since my wife died. The house felt lonely and cold without her. I know it’s cliché to say, but, she truly lit up any room she walked into. She always had a warm smile, was humming some top 40 song, and genuinely wanted to make the people in her life happy. She was the love of my life and I don’t know what i’m going to do without out her. But, i’ve been trying to put my grief aside in order to help my son with his. He was our miracle baby. See, I’m 31, but my wife is 47, we met 10 years ago, when i was a host at a local restaurant and attending the local community college. I thought she was the hottest woman I’d ever seen, tall for a woman, thin, with a nice big butt and huge tits. She was also quite witty, she went in with a bunch of her coworkers. They were celebrating a big court win. I tried my best to be suave while talking to her and her co-workers, but they were such boss ladies that i was immediately intimidated. But Sarah, made it a point to be very polite to me. She approached me while i was on my break, by which i mean, I was smoking a joint. I had to in order to get through the monotony of my job. When I saw her approaching I panicked, I didn’t want to get in trouble with my work and get fired. But, she eased me by asking if she could have a toke. We soon stuck up a conversation and the rest is history as they say. After dating for a year she asked me to marry her, she was down on one knee and everything. I said yes immediately and we eloped two weeks later. On our 2nd anniversary we talked about and decided to have kids. We both knew it would be difficult due to her age, but figured if nothing else we could always adopt. We got pregnant immediately, but at the 3 week mark she miscarried. We tried again a few months later and it was the same, pregnant immediately followed by a devastating miscarriage. This happened 2 more times. We went to the doctor and she told us my wife’s uterus couldn’t support a fetus. We were sad, but not devastated. So, we decided that we would just move on to adoption, we started the classes and home visits and all that, when she became pregnant again, we didn’t shell out much hope as we knew what the likely result would be. As week 3 came and went, she managed to get to her second trimester. The doctor told us that the baby would likely make it to term. We were elated. A few months later Matthew was born. He was a beautiful baby, I mean a little gross looking when he shot out of her, but once he was cleaned up I could see his beautiful caramel complexation, deep blue eyes that looked like they were glowing, full little lips, chubby little cheeks, everything about him was perfect to us. He was a great mix of both of our genes, Sarah was half Latina and half Caucasian with a light complexion, deep blue eyes, and dark brown hair. I’m 6′ even, half black half Latino, and dark hair and eyes. I’ve always been fit and even now in my 30’s i maintain a pretty regular gym schedule, I have nice pecs, toned arms and legs, a nice round ass, and a huge 11″ uncut cock. Both of our mom’s were Mexican and raised us on their own. We lived a pretty good life, that is until Sarah came home from her business trip to China in February 2020. She had contracted some kind of bug, but didn’t start showing symptoms until about 2 weeks after she got back. We didn’t know it then, but she had contracted COVID-19. My son and I also contacted it but had very minor symptoms. Sarah was in the hospital for months, she finally started to show signs of getting better in January of 2021. But was still having a lot of health issues. She was what the doctors were calling a long haul COVID sufferer. She would be better for a few weeks and then have to go back into the hospital, but eventually the symptoms won. She died a day before our anniversary, on June 1st, 2021. Like i said, I was beyond devastated. That whole week between her death and funeral is completely blank in my memory, except for all the crying I did. I carried on like that for a few more weeks, that is until i realized i was neglecting Matthew. I came home from work late one night and found him cuddled up on the couch with his mom’s bath robe. His face was tear stained and his eyes were puffy. That scene broke my heart. How could i have been so inobservant? Of course he would be as heart broken as me! But i’m the dad and it’s my job to take care of him and make him feel safe and loved. So, I scooped him up from the couch and took him to bed with me. He was still dressed in his school clothes, I took off his shoes and socks, and undid the button on his jeans. He had his Pokémon boxer briefs on. I smiled remembering how i had my own when i was his age. I then took off his shirt. We all slept in our underwear, even when Sarah was alive. We’re pretty liberal like that and passed that on to Matthew. I pulled back the blankets and sheet and placed him in the middle of the bed. I then undressed and slid into bed next to him. I wrapped my arms around him, kissed him on the forehead and then passed out. I awoke sometime in the middle of the night, I had a raging hard on that was poking my son in the back. I also had to pee pretty badly. I gently pulled myself away from my son and made my way to the restroom. My cock had gone down by the time i reached the toilet. I started to piss when i was startled by my son’s voice. “Dad, why was I in your bed?” he asked in a loud whisper. Good thing i was pissing already şişli travesti or i would have pissed myself from the surge in fear from him sneaking up on me. I turned slightly to look at him and answered, “I brought you to bed with me, go back to bed Mijo, we’ll talk in the morning, ok?” He nodded his head and walked off. I finished my piss, washed my hands and climbed back into bed. Matthew’s breathing was slow and steady so i guessed he’d gone back to sleep. I wrapped my arms around him again and snuggled him as i inhaled his scent. He always had a sweet flowery smell to him, it reminded me of his mother. Suddenly, I realized i was getting hard again, I tried to move back a bit so i could adjust my dick so that it wasn’t poking my son in the ass or back. As i moved back, Matthew’s arm reached back and squeezed my dick, I let out an involuntary moan. “Dad, did I make you dick hard?” Matthew asked. I was shocked that he was being so brazen, sure we were liberal but we rarely saw each other naked and we only explained the very basics of sex and anatomy. I grabbed his wrist and yanked his hand away from my dick, but he had a nice grip so he kind of jerked me and i felt some precum leak out. I felt my face get hot and my heart started to race. “Mijo, you can’t just grab someone’s dick like that without consent!” I said harsher than i intended. He pulled his arm away from and jumped out of bed. He ran off to his room before i could tell him to stop. The door slammed and I heard the lock click. I felt terrible I didn’t mean to sound so harsh, I was just shocked. I walked over to his bedroom and knocked on the door, I could hear him sobbing lightly, which made me feel even worse. “Mijo, I’m sorry i didn’t mean to make you feel bad, I was just a little shocked. Will you open the door so we can talk?” I said through his door, but got no response. I knocked again, but he still didn’t respond. I figured he might need a little time to calm himself down so I walked back to my room and got back into bed. I was then that i realized i was still rock hard and leaking precum like a faucet. I hadn’t done anything sexual since my wife got sick, and hadn’t jerked off since she died. But I hadn’t felt the urge really since then. So, i was surprised that i was feeling so horny right now. I pushed my boxer briefs down below my balls and my cock plopped out, smacking against my abs. It left a slimy puddle of cum on my abs. I couldn’t believe i was this turned on, how could i be? Did my son’s touch really make me this horny? I was feeling guilty and disgusted, but the urge to cum overwhelmed those feelings. I wrapped my hand around my fat 11 incher and began to slide it up and down, fuck this felt great i thought to myself. Precum continued to flow out like crazy, i bunched up my foreskin and lit it pool up, I dipped my finger into the pool of precum, got a good amount on my finger and brought it to my mouth. I’d always loved the taste of my own spunk, it was salty and sweet and always made me even hornier when i ate it while jerking off. My wife used to love watching my shoot a load on myself and eat it up. I began to really go at it, moving my hand up and down while tightly gripping my cock. The whole thing only lasted about 5 minutes, when i started to feel my orgasm coming, I knew this was gonna be a huge load, i continued to pump it, when i suddenly remembered the smell of my son’s scent, that pushed me over the edge and i felt the first load blast out and land on the pillow behind me with an audible thump. It was followed by a second and third load which land on my cheek and lips, I shot 5 more times each one landing on a different spot on my body. I convulsed and moaned as my orgasm continued. I suddenly heard myself say my sons name. “WHAT THE FUCK??” I thought to myself as my orgasm subsided. It must be the grief and lack of sleep, i thought, as i tried to rationalize it to myself. I was suddenly drained of any energy i had and fell asleep in my own mess. My last thought was of Matthew and how he was feeling. I woke up the next morning around 11 AM, it was a Saturday so i usually slept in. I slowly opened my eyes, as i licked my lips to moisten them I could taste my dry load from last night. I sat up on my elbows and looked down and my nude body, the blanket and sheet had bunched up at my feet, I saw my underwear were still bunched under my balls. I could see my dry loads on my chest and abs. `Man that was a fucking amazing orgasm!” i thought to myself. I thew my legs off my bed, as i stretched, I noticed that my door was open! “Shit! Did I leave it open all night?! Did Matthew see me naked with my dried up cum all over myself?” I asked myslef in a panic. I walked toward the hall and poked my head out to see if his door was still closed. I sighed with a little relief, maybe he hadn’t seen me. I quickly shut my door and began my morning routine. When i walked into the kitchen, I saw an empty bowl in the sink. Matthew had clearly come out of his room finally. I put on a pot of coffee and then walked into the livingroom to look for him. I found him sitting on the recliner reading a book while some cartoon played on the tv. I cleared my thoat to let him know i was in the room. He look up from his book at me briefly. I walked over to him and sat on the couch next to him. “Look, Mijo, about what happened last night. I didn’t mean to make you upset or feel like i was mad at you. Like i said, I was just surprised beylikdüzü travesti is all. Ok?” I asked. He put his book down on his lap and stared into my eyes. They were warm just like his mom’s. “It’s ok daddy, I’m sorry too, i know i shouldn’t do that without permission.” He said to me in his sweet soft voice. He got up and reached out for a hug and we embraced for a few minutes. I inhaled his scent again and could feel a tingle in my balls again. I quickly pulled away and asked him what book he was reading. “lord of the rings” he replied. He was a very smart kid and had already been skipped up a grade in school. Before the pandemic hit, his mom and I were thinking of putting him in a private school that focused on children with high IQ’s. He could read and comprehend books at a highschool level. He also loved science and was a whizz with technology. He was definitely gonna be smarter than me when he was grown. I loved the idea of that to be honest. “Oh, nice. I’ve only seen the movies.” i said with a chuckle. He laughed in response. He knew i wasn’t much of a reader, but i loved when he told me about the books he read. I got up from the couch and leaned over to kiss the top of his head. As i headed back to the kitchen he spoke again, “Dad, you never answered my question.” I froze in my tracks, my heart raced again, I knew exactly what question he wanted me to answer. I turned to look at him, he was staring at me with an intense look, the look he got when he was trying to solve something. “What question?” I asked trying to play dumb. “You know,” he said flatly. I swallowed hard, and responded. “look Mijo, bodies sometimes just react on their own and we can’t help it.” He continued to stare at my with an intensity that made me feel very uncomfortable. “Then why did you say my name when you were jerking off?” “FUCK!” I screamed internally. I knew my face gave away what i was thinking, but still i needed to play it like he was wrong. “Mijo, I don’t know what you thi…” He cut me off suddenly, “Dad, i saw you jerking off, I was gonna go back and apologize but when I walked into your room you had your eyes closed and were jerking your dick, I know that’s a private thing so i backed out immediately and was walking back to my room when i heard you moan my name and then you started grunting.” I felt my legs go weak and fell onto the love seat behind me. I felt a lump in my throat, and i could feel the tears building up in my eyes. Matthew sat up, placing his book on the coffee table and walked over to me. He sat down next to me and wrapped his arms around me. “i’m so fucking sorry Matty, I’m just all fucked up from everything that’s happened. I don’t know what came over me last night. Maybe, it’s the grief or lack of sleep or how lonely i feel. But I would never do anything to hurt you, not ever!” I said though sobs. “It’s ok daddy, I… I… I though it was sexy.” he managed to eek out. I turned my head to look at him, did my son just tell me he thought i was sexy? He’s only 7! What could he possibly know about something being sexy or not. “Mijo, do you even know what your talking about? You just a little boy you shouldn’t talk like that or even know what that means for that matter!” I said, the sobs now subsided. “Dad, i know what it means, it’s when you see something or hear something that makes your dick feel tingly. I read about it in a biology book from the library.” Matthew’s hand was resting on my thigh, while his other arm was wrapped around my waist. It was then i noticed that i was hard, not just hard, I was leaking again. I looked down at my dick and then looked over towards Matthew. I felt his hand slowly slide up my thigh, when he got close to my rock hard cock, he stopped. We had maintained eye contact the whole time. He was staring at me with pleading eyes, the same eyes his mother had, in fact, he had the same lustful look on his face that his mother would get whenever she wanted to fuck. Without thinking i leaned forward and placed my lips against his. He took this as a sign to proceed. He little hand reached into the opening in my boxer briefs and wrapped around my cock. At the same time we had begun to kiss more passionately. I moaned into his mouth, it had been such a long time since someone else had touched my dick. MY dick was too fat for his little hand to wrap completely around my shaft, but that did not deter him. He squeed my cock and moved my skin up and down. The precum was flowing out so much that it was covering his hand. I suddenly regained my sense, and pulled away from him and pushed his hand from my cock. “Mijo, we can’t do this, it’s wrong! You’re my son and a child!” I managed to say as my breath came back to me. “Dad, I know how i feel. You and mom always said that i should let my feelings be felt and not feel ashamed. Well, my feelings are telling me that I want, no, I NEED this. I love you so much daddy and i want us both to feel better! Please let me do this for you. I want to make you feel good, it will make me feel good to do that!” He said it passionately and concisely that you’d think an adult was speaking though him. I couldn’t believe I was really considering his request, i reminded myself that he was a 7 year old boy. But, that was pushed aside by another thought, what would it feel like to be inside of him, to feel his sweet little mouth wrapped around my fat uncut cock, could i fit all 11″ in him? With those thoughts filling my head i leaned back istanbul travesti into him and let go of his hand. We started to kiss passionately again, this time though i shoved my tongue into his mouth, he moaned into my mouth when i did that. My hands began to rub his body all over. I rub his chest and abs with one hand and his back and ass with the other. I had never realized how big his butt was, he defintely had a huge bubble butt. I squeezed one of his cheeks as his small hand began to jerk me off again. He pulled his face away from mine, looked into my eyes as his he breathed heavily. “Dad, I want to try and suck you!” I leaned back on the couch my cock sticking straight up through the openeing in my boxer briefs. “Go ahead mijo, do whatever you want to me. I love you so much and want you to feel good!” I said. He pulled his legs under himself, bracing himself with one arm on my thigh, he grabbed my cock with the other, pulling it towards his mouth. It was the hottest sight I’d ever seen, that was until he actually put the head in his mouth. Then that was the hottest thing I’d ever seen. He could only get the head of my cock in his mouth, but he seemed to savor the taste. He swiped his tongue all over my head and under my foreskin, making my moan and curse. I could tell he was trying to get more of my cock in his mouth, I placed my hand on the back of his head and pushed down to help him. He only managed about half an inch more. He started to bob his head up and down on the little bit of cock he had in his mouth, his saliva flowing all over my shaft, he jerked me as his head bobbed. I felt my cock hit the back of his thoat and he made a gagging noise. God he had almost two inches in his mouth not counting the head, he was a fucking natural. As Matthew sucked my cock with eagerness, I reached over and squeezed his ass. He moaned on my dick, it made his blow job feel even more amazing! I involuntarily began to move my hips shoving a bit more of cock into his mouth. I then had this sudden urge to feel his skin on my hand, I reached into his underwear and felt up his soft bubble butt. My had made my way deeper into his underwear i was rubbing and feeling all over his ass. I could feel the moistness of his ass crack, I slid my finger lightly between his cheeks, the heat radiating from his hole was calling to me. I pull my hand out of his underwear and shoved them down. I then sucked on one of my fingers to get is nice and wet. I then reached back over between his cheeks and found my target, his tight little hole. I rub my spit covered finger all over it, this caused him to push back onto my finger. I wet my finger again and then slowly slipped it into his tight hot hole. He pulled off my cock and called out, “Ugh, Daddy that feels so good! Please go deeper! Please!” I obliged him and shoved my finger as deep as it would go into him. He moaned. I slowly began to finger fuck him. “Oh god Daddy, That feels so amazing, I didn’t know something could feel so good! Please, go faster!” he practically screamed. I then began to finger his hot little hole with much more speed. He moaned so loudly i was worried the neighbors would hear. I told him to put my cock back into his mouth, he did so, as he continued to moan. He started to push back onto my finger every time i shoved it forward. He also would suck harder on my cock when i did that. The feeling of having his mouth on my cock and my finger up his ass was amazing. Without thinking i shoved his head down on my cock harder that i intended. I heard him gag as i felt my cock head slip into his throat. It was like a fucking vice was gripping my cock. “Oh fuck! Mijo! Fucking swallow my cock, get it into your throat!” I moaned. Matthew did as i said and began to make swallowing sounds, slowly more of my cock began to slide down into his throat. It was amazing. He pulled up and caught his breathe before diving back down on my cock. He began to swallow again, he managed to about 5 inches of it down his throat. He began bobbing up and down while simultaneously jerking me and shoving himself back onto my finger in his little virgin ass. We carried on like this for few more minutes before i felt my orgasm beginning to build. “Mijo, i’m gonna cum, you need to pull off or i’ll shoot it in your mouth!” I warned. But this only spurred him on, he started blowing me even faster than before, sliding up and down on my fat shaft, his throat bulging every time he swallowed me. 20 seconds later i felt the first load shoot into his tight hot throat. “OH FUCK! OH FUCK! MIJO! SWALLOW IT! SWALLOW YOUR DADDY’S FUCKING LOAD YOU LITTLE FAGGOT!” I could feel his throat contracting as he swallowed every drop of daddy seed. I continued to finger fuck him, I had begun to fuck him hard as i was coming. I was still slamming my finger into his little hole when I felt it tighten even more and his body convulsed. “Fuck! Is he coming? I didn’t know kids his age could do that!” I thought to myself proudly. He pulled off my cock and I shot a few more loads into the air as he screamed, “DADDY! DADDY I FEEL SO GOOD! OH GOD! I FEEL SO GOOD!” His body shook a convulsed a few more times and then he collapsed on me. Meanwhile i had collapsed further into the sofa cushion. I felt completely drained after having one of the most amazing orgasms of my life. I looked down at my son and our eyes met. He smiled at me. I pulled us up on the couch and snuggled him into a cuddle and we both quickly dozed off. This is my first attempt at writing a story. I would really appreciate any constructive feedback! Also, I know this chapter has a lot of exposition, I really tried to keep it to necessary info that pushed the story forward. I promise that there wont be so much next time!